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  • Writer's pictureDana Glossbrenner

Women Protesters and the Hats They Wear

Please note: I am NOT talking about the cute pink toboggans with cat ears. I love those, and I want one. I am talking about the lesser-seen, but still disturbing, hats with the "vagina" look--not just a suggestion, but a literal reproduction of a part of the female anatomy that deserves more respect than being sported as clothing. There are also full-body costumes with an otherwise lovely face looking out from just below the . . . well, I'm too old-fashioned to get more specific here.

I’ve felt the resentment, surprise, sadness, anger, and betrayal of being labeled because of being female, short, ordinary-looking (but a little bit cute), and white (neon white).

I’m inferring these labels, of course, and just so you know, what I think people are thinking is Gospel, true, dead-on right. That matter being cleared up, I want to talk about some labels I’ve felt as a female before lambasting the weirdos in vagina hats.

All women have fumed at labels at some time or another, just as any other marginalized and labeled group does.

My perceived (and sometimes outwardly stated) labels include the following adjectives: weak, incompetent, dumb, spacy, flitty, unimportant, braindead, dismissible, and immoral.

However, I think of myself on a good day as being opposite those adjectives: strong, competent, smart, realistic, charming, meaningful, important, moral, and ethical. At least that’s what I aspire toward. That’s what’s important.

But these people with the vagina hats place a negative labeling on themselves. These women with the vagina hats and costumes—why can’t they define themselves by something that describes their humanity rather than by wearing genitalia?

I’m completely sympathetic to the cause of women’s rights, but not to the point that I want to hear from people who wear an anatomically correct costume that turns them into giant va-jay-jays. If I weren’t sympathetic to their message, the hats and costumes wouldn’t invite me to listen. I would try to listen because, hey, I’m open-minded. But they’re sure not gaining any sympathy from the Tea Party.

Or maybe that’s the point. Alienate everyone not on their wavelength even more. Shut down any possible dialog.

The women in the vagina hats and costumes, the women carrying unreal placards, are people who stand against the objectification of women.

You are a ridiculous argument against turning women into sexual objects when you wear a vagina.

Women wearing the hats and costumes stand against legislation on reproductive rights.

You can’t argue effectively against those who would dictate these rights to women while you belittle yourself with vulgar placards making outrageous claims—and when you wear a vagina.

The hat-wearers stand against all the slings and arrows that women face. But really? This isn’t Afghanistan and never was, by golly. Why don’t they demonstrate in Saudi Arabia? Women are treated like crap there. Maybe they could wear a crap costume. But, oh, that’s right. The Saudis would behead them for wearing western clothes and holding up placards against the government.

Let’s have some class. There are other images that say “I’m female, and don’t tread on me.”

The best image I can think of is the Statue of Liberty. What about her?

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